It's 5 o'clock in the morning; I can't sleep. I've not posted for what? A day, two days. I'm exhausted and upset besides feeling totally numb and emotionally drained.
Buddy is rapidly losing ground. He's comfortable but his quality of life is slipping away; he's Buddy without the energy. All the little bits and pieces of personality and routine that go into making Buddy, Buddy are falling away.
His condition yesterday was a shocker. No longer kissing me (only my brother) or playing "tip your head" Buddy seemed terribly tired. He really wasn't interested in food although he ate somewhat, or water although he drank a bit. We went through our daily routine but all he wanted to do was stay on my kitchen counter top near the sink and his bowls. The major difference was Buddy's activity level was practically down to zero. He wasn't even looking or asking to go do his toileting.
Extra effort was put forth by both myself and my brother taking care of Buddy's needs. With a doctor visit scheduled for later in the day, we readied Buddy and ourselves and made the trip.
We saw Dr. Klein since Dr. Young wasn't at the Clinic today. He confirmed our suspicions of end-stage kidney disease. We discussed whether or not to put Buddy to sleep. My brother and I decided we wanted to give him one last round of treatments to see if he rallied. He has dental issues which we can't address unless he's knocked out and doing so would probably kill him so that's out - what would be the point.
He was given antibiotic and anti-nausea injections plus an additional round of 150 mm of sub-q. He perked up; we all went home.
Buddy was definitely more alert for the remainder of the evening but he stayed in his spot on my kitchen counter watching everything going on. He ate and drank with gusto but only if the food plate and water bowl were placed in front of him. The big change here is Buddy isn't asking for anything, making any demands, in short, he's not controlling his routine as he did every day since he's lived with us.
Finally, we went to bed. Buddy got up to come over and cuddle but just stood next to me waiting for me to get him into position. I settled him for the night and he went to sleep with Annie sleeping near us but I couldn't find rest. So, out of bed to the computer I came to write this post. Now that I'm almost done writing I'm exhausted.
I don't hold out much hope for Buddy. I believe my brother and I will have to make our decision today; neither of us expect Buddy to improve. We will make our decision as the day progresses. I'm going back to bed to try and get some sleep. Definitely not looking forward to this Friday.
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